Alaska Mission Trip #4

Tuesday was Shaktoolik and we got into the originally scheduled pattern of assembly first during the day followed by an evening Rally for the whole community. (Unalakleet was the largest village at 800 until Nome which has about 3000. Shaktoolik was one street, houses on both sides and about 300 people.)

Shaktoolik School was great - all the schools were very modern and built recently - and we did both the assembly and the evening performance in the school gym.

The reception was always very warm. I found the local folks to be very easy to get to know and they would often initiate the conversations. We packed out the bleachers for the evening performance and had about one third of the town out. One of the local church leaders (they are currently without a pastor but have some strong lay people helping) is Palmer Sagoonik. He cooked up a great supper for us of fresh caught trout, rice, reindeer soup and then we added some leftover pie from Donna in Unalakleet. Very tasty.
Palmer is quite a character. Reindeer herder, crabber and fisherman and Iditarod racer. Palmer showed the characteristic Eskimo hospitality in a recent Iditarod race. You might like to hear some interesting audio from Palmer about Eskimo history.

That night the weather continued to be windy - in fact the pilots decided we needed to tie the plane down just to be safe. It was a continual pattern for the whole trip: will the weather allow us to fly to the next location? Often came down to the last minute decision by the pilots after carefully checking the weather reports online - we always had access to wireless internet and everyone had a Mac.

We got some local information about what they called "stink weed". The locals swear by it to stay healthy. Also heard from the locals about Grizzly bears and Polar bears. Don't mess with either one. We were told that if a Polar Bear sees you (they don't have very good eye site) you are on the menu.

Alaska Mission Trip #3

It's Monday, we must be in Unalakleet, AK.

The tour was designed to focus on small villages in western Alaska. Unalakleet was first on the list. These villages have all been here for years...count centuries...2000 years and more. Why here? River and Norton Sound converge for great food supply from the water and lots of food - meat and berries - from the land. And everything you see in these villages got there by plane or boat/barge...everything.

The people were very warm and welcoming. The temparature was very cold (10 degrees) and the wind fast (60 mph plus gusts). We were behind a bit because of Bob's delayed travel from the lower 48. The plan was to always do the school assembly first and then the evening program at the church. We had to reverse that for Unalakleet becuase we just got there in time for supper and then the evening performance at the local church. We do it that way to help get more people out in the evenings to hear the Good News of Jesus. Hopefully the students are intrigued by what they have seen and heard during the day and they bring others with them at night.

The church was still full in large part because of some great work by the local members and youth ministry volunteers. Unalakleet is blessed to have some very solid local Christians (we found those in every place we went) but also some young people focused on youth ministry in the community. It definitely pays off! (looking for a place to volunteer some time and help make a difference in the lives of young people?)

Supper was amazing. We were hosted by Jeff and Donna Erickson. Jeff is the son of a former Covenant Church Pastor to Unalakleet who served there long and died there as well - no outsider who came to endure a short stay and leave. His children are there now too and call it home and contribute strongly. Donna is a native from Barrow, AK (67, count'em, 67 days of darkness in winter). She works for Bering Air and makes GREAT berry pies. She has a personal quota each year to pick and freeze over 200 gallons of berries (blue berries, salmon berries, a local northern cranberry...) We had salmon, great home made bread and pies.

She is also the gal that let Jenica use one of her hand made parkas. (polar bear fur on the inside, then wolverine and then wolf at the edge of the hood.)



Various local folks hosted us for the evening. Jenica, Bob and I stayed with the local Pastor of the Covenant Church, Joel Oyoumick and his wife Olga. Great hosts!

The local High School (part of the Bering Strait School District) hosted the assembly the next morning and the response was strong. Bob always gave his VCR (Value, Courage, Respect) talk in the schools. Our job was to bring some joy through entertainment, model strong family relationships and entice them back for the evening performance when we would share the gospel.

The challenges these people face are many: a radical shift in lifestyle with introduction of "white" ways; alcohol and drugs; and abuse are high on the list. Suicide rates are high. Only a small portion of the native population is Christian. More on all this as I share with you about the other villages we visited.

Alaska Mission Trip #2

Flight. Weather. Delays. Sometimes without the periods!

We had flight delays the whole trip - but only missed one school because we couldn't fly there. Praise the Lord for that blessing.

Started with getting to Alaska. Jenica had heavy snow in Appleton and a snow plow that ignored their street so they literally had to dig their way out to the airport. They were late but the flight was delayed so she made it on board. But Bob was not so fortunate. He was just getting back from a family break and missed his connection so was delayed into Anchorage which put us behind schedule on Monday.

I had three legs of travel and got messed up by the second one out of Salt Lake City...a bird had hit the plane I was on so they switched us to a new one and then that plane had trouble with the pilot's oxygen mask - twice. That meant I missed my Seattle/Anchorage flight and had to go stand-by at midnight or wait till 7 pm the next day! The standby list was long. They called names off that list until they got to me and then stopped...just missed it! But then one of those people was not there so they finally called me! Praise the Lord again!

Monday flying from Anchorage to Unalakleet was perfectly clear (but very windy) so we got some awesome views of Alaska's rugged terrain.


And all week the weather threatened us with delays or no flight at all which meant we'd miss the next school. Our pilots were very careful and conservative. They watched the weather carefully on the web - and came across a rare crazed weather front that had wrapped around itself three times! They had never seen that before. And they said that in the lower 48 states, each State was one weather forecast area. Alaska has 27 separate forecast areas. And one of the nights we had to tie the plane down due to high winds.


Friday was the only day we couldn't get into our next village, White Mountain. Thanks for good pilots and flyable weather!

We left Nome in a heavy snow storm and came into O'hare in an ice storm!

Alaska Mission Trip #1

So here are some blogs on my recent Fitz Family Mission trip with my daughter, Jenica Halula (Miss Fitz), and Bob Lenz of Life Promotions to western Alaska from Dec 2 - 11/07.

First some words about the scale of Alaska. It is BIG! click on the pictures for a larger view. Here is Alaska superimposed on the lower 48. Cut Alaska in half and Texas is still third biggest...


We started in Anchorage and then flew with MARC and Arctic Barnabas to remote villages in western Alaska. In order, we visited:
Unalakleet, Shaktoolik, Koyuk, Elim, White Mountain (missed this one due to bad weather) and Nome. Check out these maps for locations in relation to Anchorage.




The pilots, Bob and Greg, were excellent. And Craig, our host from Arctic Barnabas was great too. They took very good care of us.


Here are some facts and figures for Alaska:
670,000 total population
663,000 sq miles
(TX is 262,000 sq mi/21,000,000 population)
White 70%
Native 16%
Other 14%

Anchorage - 315,000
Fairbanks - 85,000
Juneau - 35,000
Palmer, 5000
Soldotna, 5000
Homer, 6000
Kenia, 7000
Nome, 3000
TOTAL - 460,000 of the 670,000 people live in those 8 cities. The rest are a little spread out...

Anchorage to Unalkleet - 400 miles (think Chicago, IL to Lexington, KY)
Unalakleet to Shaktoolik - 45 miles
Shaktoolik to Koyuk - 40 miles
Koyuk to Elim - 80 miles
Elim to White Mountain - 80 miles
White Mountain to Nome - 137 miles

More to come about the people and the experience.

Navigating bad weather

Another navigation analogy from our current trip to far western Alaska. We are flying with MARC, (Missionary Aviation and Repair Center) with two capable pilots - Bob and Greg. I am learning much about flying in bad weather...there is plenty of that in Alaska at this time of year, and we are experiencing a wide variety of what Alaska has to offer. Used to be pilots flew 'by the seat of their pants' as they say. Not much help about the weather that lay ahead. Today there is a wide array of technical help. You don't have to leave with much guess work about what lies ahead. A good pilot knows that things can change very quickly and will be prepared for that, but they know much more about what to look for. I was amazed how much weather knowledge a simple private pilots license required. When your life - and the life of others - is in your hands you would certainly want to know as much as you can.

There is no licensing requirement for the Christian life - no minimum amount of knowledge required before you can fly. But the dangers are no less real and the consequences of bad choices no less dangerous. The resource book has been around a while - the Bible. A good pilot through life will want to know as much as possible about how to deal with what lies ahead. Find a place that will help you navigate life as prepared as possible.

Navigating Life

I just learned about Polynesian Navigation from our oldest son who just finished a semester at SEA. Quite an experience. And Polynesian Navigation is a great analogy for faith formation in the family.

Polynesian sailors were the first to sail the seas far from shore and it was only possible because of how they navigated. They used mostly the stars but also other natural phenomenon like the waves of the ocean. They studied things extensively and intensively...that means they knew the stars and the waves and the other things they used backward and forward. And then they made sure that they passed that information on to the next generation, starting at a very early age. It was critical to their survival and safe voyage over open seas.

It seems they knew the stars well enough that on a cloudy night, if there happened to be a quick opening in the cloud cover and they caught a glimpse of even a few stars, they could immediately get a fix on where they were. Or on cloudy nights they could tell direction and where they were in relation to a nearby island by the sound of the waves on the side of the boat. They knew their stuff and they used it to live by.

So it is with faith formation. Know God's Word, study it hard - and pass it on to the next generation - your kids! It is critical for survival and safe voyage through the seas of life. Do you know the Bible that well? Do your children? Is your relationship with Jesus strong and familiar? If not, start there. If you have a strong relationship but your children don't yet, start the conversation with them. It can be done at any and every age - and hopefully the faith conversations never stop! Your own strong relationship with Jesus is the best way to ensure that your children will have one too.

Power of Story

I'll share concerns and cautions about media as I did in the last post, but I much prefer to talk about and recommend positive media. Bella is a must-see movie. From Metanoia Films, this movie tells a powerful story with care and grace. Bella is about life and family and friendship and fear and faith and forgiveness and much more. In a way that so many movies do not, Bella tackles these deep subjects with a clarity and purpose that invites you to think and to feel.

It would be a great movie to see with your children - much to talk about after the shared experience.

Golden Compass Movie

There is lots of press these days about a movie called "The Golden Compass". It is the movie based on the first book of a three book trilogy from Philip Pullman called "His Dark Material". The books are well written. Pullman has won numerous awards for this series and other books as well. However, there is a concern about content if you come from a Christian world view. Having an 'agenda' when you write a book is certainly common and acceptable. It is important from a parent's perspective to know it ahead of time so you can decide if a book is appropriate for your child.

In this case parents need to know that it is categorized as a 'young adult/teen' book. There are some very adult themes in the book around sexuality and violence. I don't know how the movie will be handling those issues. Pullman also takes a very definite tack against Christianity. He doesn't pull any punches about that - he is an avowed atheist and is entitled to write as he pleases. For the right age young person it could be the start for some good discussion with parents about important faith questions. But parents need to be clearly aware that the movie is not neutral to the Christian faith and decide accordingly, depending on the age of their children. And parents should also be aware that the later two books are even more blatantly negative about the Christian faith.

Sometimes it is hard to find good movies. A couple good options are "Flywheel" and "Facing the Giants" from Provident Films, Bella, and The Ultimate Gift.

You might be interested in a review of book "The Golden Compass".

Divine Interruptions

Here is a bit more on family devotions. Lots of options on the web for daily devotions. One of my favorites is from Lutheran Hour Ministries. Pastor Klaus does a great job of using short story introductions to highlight timeless truths about God. You can go to the web site to read it or have it come in an email to you each day (the devotion is one option among many things you can sign up for, take your pick). I like that option. Kind of a nice divine interruption to the day. Only takes about two minutes to read...two minutes that can perk you up or change your attitude or calm your spirit or challenge your thinking or anything else you might need at that moment.

And they have excellent Advent devotions as well for the season leading up to Christmas. You can sign up for those as an audio file or to come as a daily email. You can also get a print version and churches can make copies that include their own address and Christmas worship info to pass out to their members.

Blog Link

Family Stories

I just heard that November is "Family Stories" month. I'd like to be in on the conversations about what special cause the Month and Day will be...I'm holding out for "every other day off" month but I doubt it will come any time soon.

In the meantime, Family Stories month sounds like a good idea. Here is a web site with lots of ideas for families to use to recall those stories.

"Remember when....?" Powerful words! Powerful in families and for the faithful followers of Jesus too, as we are called to remember the powerful stories of God's love for us in Jesus.

Have fun remembering your family stories - and I hope you see lots of God's hand in those stories too!

Link

"All of Me" Children's Devotions

I've come across a great devotional booklet, intended for children but I've been using it myself recently. It is based on the classic devotional book by Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest and it is called Jesus Wants All of Me. Delightful pictures and textual adaptation of the original by Phil Smouse. Very well done. I recommend it highly.

Strong Marriages

There are lots of great places to go for help building a strong marriage. We have always liked Marriage Encounter. A less likely place to go but one that we think is a great resource is Walter Wangerin Jr. The specific resource from him is "As For Me and My House". He is one of the most gifted writers I know and does a great job in this book talking about practical ways of crafting a strong marriage.

Perhaps the simplest advice on building a strong marriage comes from my father. He would take my mother out regularly (translate that weekly) for "coffee". That was a code word. They did actually drink coffee on these little dates but more importantly it was time to talk about each other and about their many children. They had a strong marriage till the very end when he died at 84. Thanks Dad for being a great model.

Hands-on Parenting

My parents were great examples of hands-on parenting. They didn't sit back and wait to see if things would work out, hoping they wouldn't have to have the hard conversations. The faced them head on. One time in high school (I was at a boarding school about 300 miles away from home) I got into trouble, big trouble, for drinking underage. I even ended up in a car accident and in the police station drunk tank. This was an isolated incident. I was not in trouble very much and was considered a leader in the school. My parents could have hoped for the best and let the school principle deal with it (which he did!). But no. My parents had to drive the 300 miles the next day and sit face to face with me and have a "talk" about what had happened. I don't remember much about the talk - but I do remember that they drove 300 miles to have the talk and that impressed me. I knew they were concerned about what I did and the decisions I made.

Sometimes the wind blows at us parents while we raise our kids...OK the wind blows all the time and sometimes it blows hard! Hands-on parenting is like leaning into the wind, adusting for the force of the storm but always moving forward and facing the challenges AND your kids head on. Let them know you love them!

A great resource for that kind of parenting is Dr Kevin Leman. Check out some of his DVD courses.

Parental Influence

Who has the most influence on your children? The answer to that question does change over time depending on the child's age - or at least that is what most parents think. But look again at the question: "Who has the MOST influence on your children?". The answer to that depends a bit on you, the parent.

"Survey says!" Remember the game show Family Feud? That was the host's big line. Survey after survey has indicated that it is the parents who have the most influence - even well into the teenage years. Search Institute has done much in this area, and while you are there check out their work on 40 developmental assets - more on that in another blog. George Barna also has done much work in this area.

That is what the survey says. What do you say? Parents are the most influential - by design - but not by default. That means you have to believe you are and act as if you are. You really are the most influential people in your children's life, hands down. Great responsibility and great opportunity!

Generations

I'm spending some time with our daughter and son-in-law and their daughter Charlotte. Wonderful to spend time with our granddaughter. I saw a picture the other day of 6 generations together. The Great, Great, Great Grandmother was 120 years old. I can remember only four generations together in our family.

Chances are good that you don't live too close to your Grandparents. Mobility has some costs and one of them is missing out on time with previous generations. A phone call works. And so does a letter. Perhaps they even do email. Make a connection again to the older generations in your family.

When you get together with them and have some time, video tape some conversations with them about the family from the past. At our last family reunion we taped the whole bunch of oldest siblings, starting the conversation and then letting it progress with lots of "remember when" stories. Those stories tell us where we have been and a lot about who we are.

Family Meetings

Family meetings are a very simple but very powerful tool in building strong families and can get at all six of the areas of family strengths.
They can be regular or intermittent and can happen with just the husband and wife before kids, or with kids when they are able to talk and listen.
Some guidelines:
1) Pick a place and time so people are prepared ahead of time, and when people can be at their best, not too tired or distracted.
2) Have meetings even when there is no "big issue" to talk about. If family meetings only deal with heavy agenda items the energy for them will be low.
3) Have a familiar agenda each time, and give everyone an opportunity to add to the agenda.
4) Start with some simple warm-up sharing to get the conversation flowing: a high from the past week; a low from the past week.
5) Give everyone a chance to talk.
6) Use the "around the circle" method; someone starts and then everyone shares, one at a time around the circle.
7) Be sure to leave enough time for any important things that need to be talked about.
8) Use these meetings as a great time to practice the listening and talking skills you are teaching.

Listening and Talking

Perhaps the single area that you can gain the most benefit from with a little improvement is communication. How you say things and how you listen make a big difference in the tone of a relationship.

Much has been written over the years about both. I have found the most useful approach is to work on listening first (two ears) and then on sending clear messages (only one mouth).

LISTENING. Over the years the single best skill has been called lots of things: Active Listening (from the old Parent Effectiveness material), Reflective Listening, and the one I like the best because it reminds me of how to do it in the name is Drive-Through Listening (from Gary Smalley). Fairly easy to describe but harder to remember to do. The skill is basically doing a short recap of what the person said to be sure you heard accurately. And best to learn with your children. Kids from a very early age can learn the skill and when everyone knows it you can be helpful to each other in practicing, that is doing it.

TALKING. Not too difficult to do when the emotional level is low. Much harder as the emotional level rises. The best skill for sending clear messages is called "I" messages. Strongly emotional messages that start with "I" sound less threatening than when they start with "you".
I like the four part "I" message:
1) I feel (identify the emotion you are feeling)
2) ...when you (identify the specific behavior you are concerned about)
3) ...because (identify how it affects you directly)
4) ...and here's what I would like instead (what is the behavior you were expecting)
Here is a link for some practice examples.

Children haven't changed

I just finished up leading a parenting class using the series "Value Packed Parenting" from Dr Kevin Leman. A great series, one of many from Dr. Leman. The last session was on handling the influence of the internet and media. The discussion was wide ranging and included cell phones, video games, the internet, movies, etc. One thing that became clear was that kids have not changed much. They still want to get away for some privacy and to visit with their friends on their own. That is a good thing, as they develop into their own person. It can also be a time when they experiment with dangerous things and do things they shouldn't be doing. Always a concern for parents.

The thing that has changed is that now they can get that privacy with their peers - and others you as parent may never have met - right in their own house on the cell phone or computer. Calls come in on vibrate; calls go out (used to be one phone hooked up to a jack in the wall somewhere central in the house); lots of messages sent and received on the computer...and our kids has never left the house!

Another things has not changed: the need for parents to be involved in their kids lives and the need kids have for rules and limits. Have the computer in a central room with the screen facing so everyone can see (good also for the temptations parents face!). Have cell phones kept in a central location so the use is monitored. It will help your kids learn appropriate levels of use and it will help you keep tabs on who they are talking to, when, and for how long.

Family Strengths

Stinnett and DeFrain did some studies around family strengths back in the 70's at the University of Nebraska and there work still stands up today. They identified six areas that are displayed when families identify themselves as a strong family. The areas are:
-enjoy time together
-communicate effectively with each other
-show appreciation and affection for each other
-demonstrate commitment to each other
-have a strong spiritual dimension
-manage stress and crisis effectively

Strong families don't just happen but neither are they frustratingly impossible to achieve. Good news - all six of the areas Stinnett identified can be improved with effort and a desire to grow. Check out the Labels area for ideas and resources in each of the areas.

Ability or Effort?

I came across an article that was studying the cultural differences between Japan and the U.S. in the area of child rearing practices (back in 1986). The study was looking at commitment and perseverance as well as effort and ability and how the two cultures approached these values differently. Japanese mothers and children seemed to place more emphasis on effort and American mothers and children seemed to place more emphasis on ability, at least at that time.

Effort or ability? It is not one or the other. I just had a conversation with my youngest son about those two concepts. The focus of the conversation was to bring the two of them together - give your best effort in order to maximize your ability. Ability is somewhat out of our hands. You have what you are born with. Effort maximizes what you have, and stretches you beyond what you thought you had! The place where I don't do so well is to motivate, to encourage the effort positively so energy is high. The balance between affirming the effort and challenging to stretch.

What you say depends a bit on the age of the child, but initiate a conversation with your child about ability and effort. What do they see as their strengths - and weaknesses? Is it easier to put effort into the strong areas or the weak areas? How do you "measure" effort? Who measures it?

Getting Started

This will be a blog focused on helping families build on strengths and identify new ones. Families are the building blocks of a society - build the families and you build the society. There will be links to helpful resources and posts on a variety of topics that are important to strong families. I hope it will be helpful to many!