Ability or Effort?

I came across an article that was studying the cultural differences between Japan and the U.S. in the area of child rearing practices (back in 1986). The study was looking at commitment and perseverance as well as effort and ability and how the two cultures approached these values differently. Japanese mothers and children seemed to place more emphasis on effort and American mothers and children seemed to place more emphasis on ability, at least at that time.

Effort or ability? It is not one or the other. I just had a conversation with my youngest son about those two concepts. The focus of the conversation was to bring the two of them together - give your best effort in order to maximize your ability. Ability is somewhat out of our hands. You have what you are born with. Effort maximizes what you have, and stretches you beyond what you thought you had! The place where I don't do so well is to motivate, to encourage the effort positively so energy is high. The balance between affirming the effort and challenging to stretch.

What you say depends a bit on the age of the child, but initiate a conversation with your child about ability and effort. What do they see as their strengths - and weaknesses? Is it easier to put effort into the strong areas or the weak areas? How do you "measure" effort? Who measures it?